From the moment Adrienne and I learned we were going to have a second child, we vowed to one another that we would do everything we could to make sure we raised her as her own individual. Just because Charlotte did things a certain way, we told ourselves, didn't mean Delilah had to be the same. We weren't going to compare the two in that way, and we didn't want Charlotte to influence how we treated Delilah. Every kid is different, as we'd been told thousands of times from folks with far more experience in raising children. So, we were very judicious in our mental approach to parenting with her...We were going to treat her like Delilah. She wasn't Charlotte, and we couldn't go about it the same way.
I'd like to think it was our incredible skill and proficiency as parents that led us in that direction with Delilah. But, if I'm being totally honest, it's probably more human nature than anything else. When Charlotte came along, despite countless offers of parenting advice from friends and family, Adrienne and I had absolutely no clue what we were doing as parents. And, as most people tend to do in times of absolute incompetency, we erred on an absurd side of caution. We were both a nervous wreck when we left to go to the hospital for her delivery. After she arrived, we kept hand sanitizer within arm's reach at all times. When the nurse told us we could stay an extra night if we wanted, we couldn't say yes fast enough. The first time Charlotte showed the slightest sign of discomfort, we rushed to the ER, only to find she was suffering from a bad case of gas. If a pacifier so much as grazed the side of our shirt, we'd throw it in the left side of the sink, filled with Dawn Pure Essentials (we used Member's Mark brand, or, if we were feeling saucy, Ajax, on our dishes). Every article of clothing was washed in Dreft, and that was non-negotiable. When Charlotte sat in the living room floor, we built a small pillow fort around her in the event she invariably fell over. It took an act of Congress and multiple scientific journal articles to convince Adrienne that an off-brand of formula wasn't going to cause irreversible damage to Charlotte's cognitive abilities as she grew.
In the case of Delilah, things really couldn't have been more different. When we checked into the hospital, we might as well have been checking into a Hilton for a long weekend getaway. We were calm, relaxed, hoping we'd only have to stay for a night, maybe two at the most. I watched Kentucky beat Florida at football for the first time in 31 years while Adrienne was in labor, as if I were watching in my living room at home. I'd periodically offer up a half-hearted, "You doing ok? You need anything?" Without actually taking my eyes off the television. Not my proudest moment, to be sure, but hell...I knew she had this!
When we brought Delilah home, we were still cautious and careful like all parents are with newborns. But things were different. If her pacifier dropped to the floor, we picked it up and brushed it against our leg and gave it back to her. We still washed her bottles and pacifiers in the left side of the sink, but the customary Ajax did just fine. If she cried an abnormal amount of time, we just walked around the living room and rocked her until she finally went to sleep. As she grew, when we sat her in the living room floor, it was alright as long as we were close enough to see her. If she happened to fall over, we'd say, "You're okay!" and just tilt her back upright. We even bought Luvs diapers by the case...With Charlotte, Adrienne only used them, and reluctantly, when they were given to us for free.
Of course, none of that was a difference in the care or attention we've paid to Delilah. It was simply putting into practice lessons we learned with Charlotte. Mainly, kids are incalculably tougher and more resilient than we give them credit for, and, almost always, will be just fine. In all reality, treating Delilah differently than Charlotte hasn't been all that difficult.
Charlotte was a really easy baby, but Delilah has been even easier. She only cries on three discernible occasions: when she's tired, and tries not to fall asleep; when Adrienne leaves the room; or if she's asleep, and has a bad dream. She'll end up in this half-awake/half-asleep state where her delirium leaves her inconsolable for a few minutes. But, 99% of the time, she's as happy and easy-going as a baby could possibly be.
Charlotte never really crawled all that much, and Delilah crawls all over the house. She shows little to no interest in any age-appropriate toys, especially when there's a perfectly good dog food bowl and dirty pair of shoes sitting in the corner. Unless she's sleepy, or eating, she'd rather do anything than sit still and entertain herself. She is CONSTANTLY on the move. Charlotte, on the other hand, could sit in the floor with a pile full of books for a half hour or more, and be perfectly happy.
In recent weeks, Delilah has really started to show her personality. She loves Chester and Winston, loves her sister, and loves Team Umizoomi. My favorite sound in the world right now are the squeals and barely discernible "Da! Da!" when I walk in the door in the afternoon. She's trying to walk, and can take 3-4 steps at a time. She loves to play games like peek-a-boo, and loves to throw food in the floor for the dogs. She even does that when we're at restaurants, as if they're there, too. And she has the best smile and laugh...My goodness, I love her laugh.
From day one, Adrienne and I set our minds to making sure Delilah (and Charlotte, for that matter) always knows she's loved and valued as an individual. Truth be told, over the last year, they've both made that part pretty easy. I certainly don't want to wish away the time, because it hurts my heart to think about how much has changed just in 12 short months. But, part of me can't wait to see the wonderful person she'll become. We love you so much, Delilah Rose...Happy birthday!
