If You Can't Find Something To Do, I'll Find Something For You

Christmas morning of 1990, Lensey and I awoke to find a Nintendo Entertainment System, complete with Super Mario Brothers, Duck Hunt, and Tetris, among our gifts.  While the system itself had been released in the U.S. for five years already, we thought it was brand new and the coolest thing that had ever been created.  I remember spending hours shooting computer-generated ducks, and getting frustrated when that stupid dog laughed at me for missing a couple of shots in a row.  And according to them, even Mom and Dad got in on the fun...They've said they would stay up hours after Lensey and I went to bed playing Super Mario Brothers, and we all sat in awe watching my cousin Brian beat the entire game in about five minutes.  For better or for worse, it truly was a revolutionary product.

That being said, my parents made certain Lensey and I didn't abuse the privilege.  We weren't allowed to play video games during the day, with the only exception being bad weather or a few minutes before we left for school.  And it wasn't until a couple of years later that we got our own TV, which was relegated to Lensey's bedroom (she was the oldest).  When we got our first Gameboy, the same rules applied.  In all reality, Mom played the Gameboy way more than we ever did...She played Tetris on it up until just a few years ago, when the device finally quit working altogether after 15 years of road trips and power outages.

While I consider myself to be fairly technologically savvy, I'm no tech-nerd.  I don't have to have the newest and best technological devices...I usually get ones that have essentially become obsolete, due to the swift-moving nature of technology today.  But they're always cheaper, and, for all intents and purposes, perform any task I could conceivably ask them to.  And even as much as I'd like to think otherwise, I, just like most other people, have grown to rely on technology far too much.

Perhaps it's the fact that I am surrounded by young kids everyday, but I truly feel bad for the generation that is growing up in today's society.  While there's no question they will have unfathomable access to technologies and devices that, until just a few years ago, only existed in science-fiction novels, these kids are truly missing out on having a childhood like my generation had.

Sure, I played video games, and we had a computer at home (our first one was aged when we got it, and still had a floppy B Drive)...But, we also played outside.  We rode bikes.  We got dirty.  DJ and I used to spend hours playing with a motley mix of G.I. Joes and X-Men in the creek behind my house.  We'd go "exploring" in the woods we knew like the back of our hand.  Lensey, our neighbor Katie, DJ, and I would create fake treasure maps, bury fake treasures, and race to see who could find the other treasure and make it back to the house first.  We built clubhouses, went fishing, we found anything to kill time.  Now, when I ask kids what they did over the weekend, I never hear anything like that, and it makes me sad for them.

The only thing I ever hear is this: "I played X-Box all day."  Recently, in one of my resource classes, I had four boys write an essay about their favorite possession.  All but one wrote about a video game system, and the one that didn't wrote about his favorite video game.

It doesn't take a genius to realize the impact that has on young kids. The epidemic of obesity in this country is a direct result of that (and poor eating and exercise habits).  Sure, a lot of blame can be put on parents, who themselves have become accustomed to relying on technology to keep their kids occupied.  But, what I can't seem to comprehend is how people don't get bored.  How parents can't look at their children and think, "I am helping my child to an early grave."

My parents worked very hard to ensure that Lensey and I grew up as comfortably as possible, with opportunities and luxuries they would have never dreamed of as children.  But, at the same time, they instilled the attitude that those luxuries are just that...Luxuries.  Not to be taken for granted, and not to be relied upon as necessity.  That's why they applied rules, and why, whenever we attempted to push the boundaries of those rules, were told forcefully, "Get outside and play."  One of Mom and Dad's favorite lines was, "If you can't find something to do, I'll find something for you."  Trust me...Whatever it was, would not be fun.

I guess parents just don't do that anymore.  I guess it's easier for them to drop a couple hundred bucks on an X-Box, set their kids in front of the TV, and let them pass their life away.  All the while, inadvertent as it may be, setting them up for a lifetime of lazy and slothful behavior that spills over into every aspect of their lives.  Call me cynical, but judging by increasingly poor performance and just an overall lack of motivation in school (and even on the sports field), the children that will soon be adults will not possess the necessary qualities to lead full, productive lives.  I guess the most alarming thing is how quickly that change has occurred...I'm barely 10 years removed from high school, and the difference between then and now is astounding.

I know you're probably thinking I need to come down off my soapbox and relax, and maybe you're right.  Every generation that comes along appears, to the generation that came before it, to be the downfall of civilization as we know it.  I'm not jumping off that ledge, just yet.  But, I do find myself feeling increasingly sorry for a generation of kids that will never get to have the same kind of childhood I had.  They can't turn their faces away from a video game, or remove their ear buds from their iPod, long enough to experience all the world around them has to offer.  Even things right outside their back door.  Maybe it's just me beginning to show my age, but I do find myself longing for a time before all that.  And I've also grown increasingly thankful that I came along when I did.  I just wish more parents nowadays had the attitude that mine did.  Thanks, Mom and Dad.

*Insert Inspirational Quote About Taking Chances

Moving is a bitch.  Pardon my French, but I don't really know how else to put it.  There are lots of obligations in life I could do without, but there is no doubt moving is near the top of the list.  It's one of the most mundane, inconvenient, and inappropriately expensive endeavors one will come across.  I've done it so much in the last 9 years, that I'm essentially a pro at it, and if not for the sheer hatred I have for moving, I could probably make a fairly decent living having people pay me to move their stuff.  Since my first move to Blanding I at UK in 2003, I've moved an additional eight times.  Only twice have I stayed in one place for longer than a year, and at one point I moved into a house, only to move again two months later.  It's mind-numbing to think about.

That being said, there are few (very, very select few) things I like about moving.  There's always the excitement of being in a new environment, even if it's just across town.  Sure, the means of getting there is always miserable, but the end is new and exciting, at least for a while.  Plus, there's the inevitable purge of meaningless trinkets, documents, and long-expired food items that have accumulated over the course of several months, or even years.  With every item I pick up to pack away, I might as well be plucking the petals from a wildflower, asking "To keep, or not to keep?"  I could furnish a small apartment with all of the things I've thrown out or donated to Goodwill over the years.

And sometimes, you come across long-forgotten items that you aren't exactly sure why you held onto to begin with, but when you discover them, you're so glad you did.  It could be an old collection of photographs you stuffed in the bottom of a drawer, reminding you of some bygone night out with the boys...Maybe a faded deck of cards you thought you'd thrown away, or that favorite, paper-thin t-shirt you had been unsuccessfully looking for for months, totally convinced it had gotten lost in the previous move.  No matter what it is, with every move I always find something I had forgotten I owned, and it always makes me smile.

As much of an inconvenience as it was moving, this most recent move has brought more excitement and change than any other, save for that first move to college back in '03.  Like that one to my first college dorm, this one marks the beginning of a new stage in life...A major step into the unknown.  I remember the feeling I had in those last few weeks before I left home for the first time.  I was so ready to start my college experience, that I hardly took the time to soak in those last few days of being at home.  I knew things were going to be different...I would no longer have Mom and Dad there all the time to keep me on point.  I wouldn't have them there to make sure I was up on time in the morning, and I wouldn't have them there to feed me three square meals a day.  I knew I wouldn't be able to see my best friends everyday, and I knew there were things I'd miss out on.  But the excitement of taking the next step, starting that new journey, totally overshadowed any fear, doubt, or sadness I had about leaving.  This time around, it's been very similar.

Adrienne and I will be starting new jobs in just a couple of weeks, and then our wedding is just over two months away.  While getting prepared for all of that has been stressful, and even a bit overwhelming, the excitement of all the changes taking place underscores everything.  We've had to decorate our first home together, we've had to adjust to living under the same roof for the first time, and we've had to get mentally (and physically) prepared for a demanding, time-consuming career as teachers.  But, the newness and the excitement is unbelievable.  Sure, it's been difficult at times getting adjusted to all the change, but I think it has gone about as smoothly as either of us could have hoped for.  

I know things are probably a bit different for Adrienne, because she's never really done this before.  She did live in the dorms at WKU for a couple of years, but home was always close by.  Being away from my family is not something I enjoy, but I've done it for so long now, that I've grown accustomed to it.  And I think Adrienne is enjoying the change so far, although I'm sure there will be times where homesickness sets in and dominates everything.  Lord knows I've been blindsided by it from time to time.  But, as she's been told many times, home is only a short drive away.  One that I'm sure we will make dozens of times over the next several months, both to her home and mine.

As smothering and taxing as a deluge of change can initially be, even when highlighted by unremitting excitement, we both know the change is for the best.  Making the move to Mount Sterling brings so many refreshing opportunities that it makes dealing with the stress a much simpler task.  Adrienne gets to start her teaching career, and I get a chance to take my teaching career in a totally new direction.  As tough as it may be, we get the chance to grow together away from our families, essentially forcing us to forge our own support system which will only strengthen us going forward as we start our lives in marriage.  On the surface, the situation couldn't have worked out much better, from the schools we will be working in, to the community we will become a part of.  It seems to be the perfect fit for both of us.  Only time will tell, obviously, but we're adjusting surprisingly well and surprisingly quickly.

Hopefully, the next time we have to pack up and move, it will be as homeowners.  Because I sure don't want to have to make this a habit. 

I'm not sure I like art. What is art, exactly? Depending on the definition of it, I might like some. I'm not really sure.

This is a response to Liza's most recent post.  Enjoy.

I read Liza's most recent blog post about the characteristics of her tastes in art, and I couldn't help but realize how incredibly hopeless I am when it comes to understanding, or, hell, even liking, art.  I can't look at a painting and appreciate it for anything more than paint on a canvas.  The closest I've come to getting enjoyment out of paintings was watching reruns of "The Joy of Painting" with Bob Ross when I was a kid.  And only because he was so boring, it was entertaining.  I read Liza's descriptions, finding myself becoming more and more frustrated because I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about as I read.  I recognized a few artistic period names...A few famous painters she mentioned...But as for what characterizes and separates those periods or those painters...Not a clue.  I am ignorant when it comes to that kind of stuff.  And what's worse?  I don't really care.

I've never really thought of myself as "complex."  I've never really been creative in the sense of "creating."  Unless you count the period from the time I was about 4-9 years of age.  I would paint with watercolors and draw from time to time.  I have a notebook at home filled with countless superheroes I made up.  My mom has a painting I did at Memaw's when I was about 5.  It's eloquently titled "Spaceship" and looks like a frog with red wings.  I don't know why my parents didn't nurture the obvious gift I had.  I could've been a prodigy.

And now...

I have ideas from time to time about a little project I want to work on, or something I want to build or make.  I'll go to the store and pick out items I think I will need.  I'll get home, start working without much of a plan, then realize I need at least ten more things to even really get started.  I'll go back to the store.  I'll come back and begin again, get halfway through said project, realize how incredibly awful it is.  I'll continue, thinking it will look better once I'm finished.  I will finish, sit back and look at the final product.  I'll then cuss.  Then I'll go back to the store and buy whatever it was I was trying to create, tossing mine into a gas station trash can on the way.  It's frustrating

I've never watched a movie and thought to myself how the the protagonist in the story represented some underlying abstract idea, or how the direction, camerawork, and lighting illustrates a particular "sense" that the director is striving to bring about in the audience.  I've never listened to a piece of music and appreciated it for the "story" it tells, whether it's a lyrical piece of work or an instrumental.  I've never watched people doing a dance routine and thought "those movements speak to me.  The grace and timing is impeccable...You can feel what the piece of music is trying to make you feel."  No, no, no...I've never really done any of those things.

I like movies that make me laugh.  I like movies that have really cool special effects, just because, well, they're cool.  I like movies that are based on true stories, and I like to research the "real" story after I watch them.  I like music that I like.  If it makes me bob my head, or listen intently to the lyrics, or makes me want to sing along...I like it.  I listen to it because it sounds good.  I listen because it illustrates someone else's incredible talent.  I am impressed by a dancer when they do something just looks cool.  When they do something I wish I could do, although I wouldn't even try unless I was alone in my house.

So, what kind of art do I like?  Well...None really.  I don't find artistic beauty in "traditional" forms of art like paintings, sculpture, classical music, or film.  I find it in nature.  I find it in super slow-motion camera shots of a water balloon bursting.  I find it in an outfielder tracking down a sinking line drive in the gap to save two runs.  I find it in a 30-minute drum solo.  And I couldn't really tell you why.

Have We REALLY Come to This?

For as long as I can remember, or at least since I've had the capabilities and resources to use, I've been a big history buff.  It began at an early age with baseball.  Baseball was my first love and one of the things that is unique about the game is its attachment to tradition and history.  You can catch a glimpse of this by watching just a few minutes of any telecast of a Major League Baseball game.  Without exception, there will be a totally ridiculous statistic brought to the viewer's attention...Just as an example:

"Wow, John.  This is only the fourth time since 1891 that a team has recorded a single, double, triple, and homerun in three consecutive innings."

I honestly have no idea if that statistic is correct, but I can guarantee that baseball stats are so in depth, that the right researcher could tell you how many times it has happened, what two teams were playing, and what players recorded each hit.  Having that tradition and depth is what drove me to research baseball.  My dad always talked about some of his favorite Cardinals growing up: Bob Gibson, Lou Brock, Joe Torre.  He talked about Stan "The Man" Musial, and made sure I watched Ozzie Smith's spectacular glove work at shortstop.  I got my hands on a few books detailing all-time great players, or historic stadiums.  Granted, it wasn't much of a research base, but my love for history started with researching baseball.

As I got older, my love of history only grew.  I majored in history at UK, and had about 50 credit hours worth of history classes, ranging from Colonial American history, to the ancient Mycenaeans, Victorian England, Medieval Europe, post-Roman Russia, Ancient Greece...I touched on a little bit of everything.  And I loved it.  Not only did I get to learn about other cultures in lectures, but I also had to do a ton of research on my own.  Now, I don't love research...In fact, it can get extremely tedious and mind-numbing.  But, the end result makes it all worth it.

I'm not just a history nut, though.  I'm an information nut.  I'm a research nut.  You can ask anyone of my friends.  Just in the past few months I've researched things as useless and pointless as the life span of a lightning bug, why cats purr, NCAA Football champions since 1940, the word "feral" and countless others.  If something comes up in conversation that I don't know about, or if I just think of a question, I will immediately log on to Google and look it up.  I'll research anything, but historical topics are by far my favorite.

It kind of goes without saying that I watch the History Channel often.  Pawn Stars, Mysteries of the Bible, Modern Marvels, Cities of the Underworld, American Restoration, any of the countless documentaries they show about a variety of topics...I love them all.  But, I have to admit, HC has taken a very strange turn in the last few years.  Much like every other major network on television today, it is important for them to keep viewers watching.  They have to draw you in with something.  Apparently, presenting facts about historical events wasn't getting the job done anymore.  With the dreaded year 2012 swiftly approaching, the History Channel has turned to fantastical doomsday prophecies and theories in an attempt to stir up hysteria that already exists in a society that is constantly being told what to think by the media.  And how do they get people to watch this nonsense?  They present it as fact.

Take a look at this trailer for History's hit show, Ancient Aliens.



Now, I realize they very carefully word it so it's not EXACTLY factual.  Key words like "a new theory","perhaps", and others cover their tracks.  But, if you watch the show (and you really, really should, at least once) you will see that theories and presumptions go out the window.  Experts that tell you why our civilization can be explained by alien encounters will go to the furthest depths to convince you they are right.  And, when presented with evidence to the contrary, it is simply brushed off as coincidence or not even addressed at all.

In the scholarly world, Ancient Aliens is pushed aside as a crackpot theory, as well it should be.  It is called "pseudohistory," which, as the name suggests, is nothing more than partial history.  Basically, pseudohistorians take widely accepted historical fact and attempt to refute them, or change them.  Often, they will take history and instead of disproving it, they simply give an alternate route.  This is the case in Ancient Aliens.

On the show, they look at everything from the Pyramids of Giza, ancient Mayan culture, Stonehenge, and even Renaissance art looking for evidence of alien life on earth during antiquity.  Is it far-fetched?  Absolutely.  Is it ridiculous?  Without question.  Borderline insane?  Ha, well, watch one episode and you be the judge.  I think it is.

The fallacies in the show would literally take months of research and writing to fully document.  So, I'm just going to focus on a few.  First of all, let me introduce you to Giorgio Tsoukalos, who is the primary "expert" the show uses.  He appears in every episode, and if you visit his website you'll see this little gem in his SELF-WRITTEN bio:

"Giorgio A. Tsoukalos is the star and Consulting Producer of ANCIENT ALIENS - THE SERIES (2010) and publisher of Legendary Times Magazine, the only Ancient Astronaut publication in the world. Giorgio is the real-life Indiana Jones and he is changing the way the world thinks about the Ancient Astronaut Theory."

He is referred to as the "real-life Indian Jones" but when he is the one calling HIMSELF that, it loses any meaning it MIGHT have had otherwise.  Let's try an experiment.

"Zach Edwards is the coolest guy on the planet.  He knows everything there is to know about everything.  He is the Easter Bunny.  He is Santa Claus.  And he is changing the way the world thinks about what a man is, and should be."


Do you believe one word of that hogwash?  Neither do I.


Let's go back to Tsoukalos.  One of the things that any real researcher looks at when examining a source, is the credibility of the source.  For instance, when writing a research paper, the internet can be a great tool.  Using websites with extensions like .gov, .edu, or .org are usually extremely credible.  They are operated by the government, educational institutions, or legitimate organizations that may specialize in a particular topic.  Likewise, using written sources can be tricky too.  It's best to use scholarly journals as sources, because they are written by experts on the particular subject.  Obviously, the best to use are contemporary authors who saw an event first hand, obviously not the case on Ancient Aliens.  In the case of Tsoukalos, let's take a look at his "credentials."

Tsoukalos graduated from Ithaca College with a degree in Sports Information Communication.  After that, he worked as a bodybuilding promoter for Gold's Gym until 2005.  He travels, and runs the website that I referenced above, but does that make him an "expert"?  Absolutely not.  In reality, it makes the fact that the History Channel uses him as an expert all the more laughable.  How can a television network that supposedly produces programming about historical topics use a guy with a background in Sports Information as their primary expert?  If the show was about the history of bodybuilding, I might be more inclined to trust his judgement.  But when it's based on a theory that human civilization has been fully set in motion by aliens coming to earth?  Sorry, I can't believe a word he says. Not to mention, this is what he looks like:

If his lack of credentials aren't enough, you should hear some of the theories he whole-heartedly believes.  Just a few:

-The Babylonians had nuclear weapons.
-Every "god" in every religion was actually an alien.
-The whale that swallowed Jonah was actually an alien spacecraft.
-The ancestral foundation of the halo is light reflecting off of alien helmets.
-Humans are descendants of an alien civilization from a distant galaxy that was in the midst of a major war.  With their civilization on the verge of total destruction, they traveled back in time and across galaxies to Earth, where they implanted clones of themselves to build a new civilization.  This one is my favorite.
-The Annunciation to Mary was actually a spacecraft that made her pregnant.  He references a painting that records the event, saying the artist "Saw this spacecraft over Mary, and recorded it in this painting!" Problems: The painting is a Renaissance painting, produced roughly 1,500 years after Mary would have been alive.
-Science-fiction staples like tractor beams and time travel were extensively used by these "aliens."
-He constantly uses the term "exra-terrestials" instead of "extra-terrestrials."  This one isn't a crackpot theory, but it bugs the crap out of me.

Tsoukalos is little more than a salesman trying to get you to buy his product.  He does no scientific examinations, and has been accused by a group of similar scientists from Cal Tech of stealing their research findings and plagiarizing them as his own.  Nothing but controversy surrounds this guy, and unfortunately, that may be why so many people tune in to watch.

I just don't understand why the History Channel has sunken to the level of putting this garbage on television.  Don't get me wrong, it's extremely entertaining, but they truly present it as legitimate historical study, and it is anything but.  I challenge you to watch an episode or two, just so you can see the hilarity that is Ancient Aliens.  But, don't watch anymore than that.  If you do, they may keep it on the air and that would be the worst possible conclusion to this issue.

As an historian myself (albeit a poor one), I take offense to the lack of credibility underlying this show.  I'm all for revisionist historical study, because the ultimate goal is to find out the truth.  But, there is a fine line between revisionism and insanity.  And with Ancient Aliens, the History Channel sprints up to that line, and long jumps over it.  Key thing to remember...Don't believe everything you hear.  And don't feed the hysteria.