English author Emma Darwin refers to it as the itch of writing. Essentially, it's just a desire to sit down and write; it could be a short story, a letter to a friend, a journal entry, blog post, poem, song lyrics...Whatever. I experience it often, and rarely for the same reason. Sometimes a significant event in my life has taken place, and I want to record my immediate thoughts on it so I don't forget them as time passes. Sometimes I may read a news article, or see a movie that stirs an emotional response that I feel the need to express. Other times it's for no good reason at all. I may be standing by the grill waiting on burgers to finish and the thought will cross my mind. I could be sitting on the mower, making the 12th pass through the back yard. Maybe it's just boredom. Regardless of the circumstance that causes it to manifest, I really think the itch, at its core, is just a desire to tell a story...To communicate.
Luckily, today is Delilah's 3rd birthday. I wouldn't really need a reason to write about my girls, but I figure a birthday is as good a reason as any. God knows Delilah is an absolute treasure-trove of material, so this should be one of the easiest pieces I've ever had the privilege of writing.
I never thought anyone, or anything, could have my heart the way Charlotte does. That little girl had me wrapped around her little finger when she was nothing more than a black and white dot printed on some thermal paper. For me, it was all over but the shouting.
And then came Delilah. And, whew, boy...She has given Charlotte an absolute run for her money.
I've touched on this before, but there's just something about the second child that makes you take your guard down, in so many different ways. Delilah can get away with twice as much as Charlotte could have ever even considered. And it isn't because our love for Delilah is any stronger than it is (or was) for Charlotte; it's just that she was lucky enough to come along after Adrienne and I had come to the realization that we aren't terrible at parenting. Charlotte was the guinea pig, and Delilah was everything after.
Maybe there's just something about being the baby...Delilah is just So. Damn. Cute. Adrienne and I joke about it often: There's something different about Delilah. I swear, there are times where I feel like I can't look directly at her. It physically hurts me. I am absolutely certain that Charlotte had the same affect on Adrienne and I when she was three. The thing is, though, she was first...We weren't disarmed, just yet, like we have been with Delilah. We hate to fall into some second-child, some baby, stereotype, but...It is what it is.
Charlotte and Delilah are so similar in many ways, but total opposites in others. Charlotte has an incredible ability to think of others. She always wants to play with Delilah...She wants to share toys, or take turns when they pick something to watch on TV. Almost daily, we get a report from school about how Charlotte offers help to other students, respects her teachers, and listens attentively. Delilah, on the other hand, is so independent. It's as if Charlotte is a dog, and Delilah is a cat. Delilah wants to play with Charlotte, but on her own terms. If she wants to sit and play with her Paw Patrol characters or "Barbie animals," she will. If Charlotte tries to join, and she doesn't genuinely want her to, Delilah loses her mind. She hasn't quite figured out how to share...Or, at least, she hasn't decided she wants to. And as much as Adrienne and I try to discipline Delilah in those instances, it's just not the same.
Delilah is just so funny. And smart. And articulate. So much so, in fact, that we'll look at each other and wonder, "How does she even know those words?" A good example happened just last week. I had left a water cup on my nightstand from the night before, and Delilah happened across it. She brought it to me and deadpanned, "You need to drink this, Daddy, so you stay nice and hydrated." The only reply I could muster was, "Uh...Yes...You're right. Thank you." Things like that happen almost daily.
It's obvious that Charlotte's influence has had an exponential impact on Delilah. We thought the same things and had the same reactions to things Charlotte used to do (things she still does). But, for some inexplicable reason, we are still surprised every single time. And yet...It's just not the same.
I think the way to describe my feelings is best articulated in the Avett Brothers' song, "Murder in the City." They, so eloquently put it, "I love you, and I'm proud of you both, in so many different ways." I can only imagine how much that sentiment will grow in my own heart and mind as my girls continue to mature and change.
Happy Birthday, Delilah Rose! We love you so much, we can't stand our lives.
