It's nearly impossible to believe that Adrienne and I have been married for eight years. We can all relate with how it seems that each passing year seems to go quicker than the last (I won't bore you with my theory as to why that is), but it still doesn't seem possible, despite the fact I've been present for every single second. It feels like just yesterday we were going to see Step Up 3D on a blind date on August 12, 2010, despite our mutual reluctance and overall disdain for blind dates. But, at the same time, it feels like an entire lifetime. There was the time before, and the time after. Like two acts of the same play.
I can't safely assume our time together has been all that dissimilar from countless other "love stories," but it certainly seems that way to me. To us. It's special, unique, and has an air of "meant to be," when you consider how it all occurred. But, again, I won't bore you with all the details. This isn't about how it all began...It's how it's played out. Eight years chock full of love, laughter, tears, and growth.
There are literally thousands of reasons why I love Adrienne, but, for our eighth anniversary, I've chosen eight of them. In no particular order...
1. I love her for her frankness. When I approached Jackie with my intentions on marrying Adrienne, and asked for her blessing, she pointedly asked me why I wanted to marry her daughter. I don't remember everything I said (nervousness and anxiousness can dilute your memory, I guess), but I do remember one thing in particular. I told her that I loved how Adrienne spoke her mind. I loved that I never had to doubt, for one second, where I stood with her. I never had to guess how Adrienne felt. A lot of folks might find that characteristic abrasive, but I have always admired it. I, unfortunately, don't possess that level of courage, and I love that about her. It isn't about wondering, or caring, what other people think. It's about doing and saying what you think is right. We should all aspire to live our lives that way.
2. I love her for the thoughtful and loving mother she is. I always get worked up when I see fathers portrayed in TV shows or movies as bungling, unprepared idiots that seem to be incapable of surviving if the mother so much as goes shopping for a couple of hours. I like to think I'm far better than that. And yet, in those few instances when I feel like I've thought of something she hasn't (like preparing water bottles for the girls before we go on a trip, or packing a change of clothes in the diaper bag), I find she's four steps ahead. She thinks deeply about possibilities that I don't even consider.
3. I love her for how she balances me out. I'd like to think I have the same impact on her, and, in all honesty, I probably do. But, it's not the same. I worry about money, and the house, and bills, and all those superficial things that, in the grand scheme, don't really matter. "It's going to be fine," she'll say. And guess what? She's right. It always is. She worries about the girls when they bump their head on the floor, or when they get hit in the face by a wayward hula hoop. "It's going to be fine," I'll say. And it always is. But, I'm not sure my reassurances have the same effect. I hope they do.
4. I love her for always motivating me. Most of the time she doesn't even try, or is even aware she's doing it. But she pushes me to be a better father, husband, brother, son, and man every single day just by being herself. She gives me countless reasons to wake up in the morning, go to work, and live my life as positively as possible. And when I fall short, she doesn't even have to point out my pitfalls. I recognize them, and I do everything I can do to correct them. She loves me, regardless.
5. I love her for making me a better father. She does it just by demonstrating how good of a mother she is every single day. Being a parent is really, really hard. You just do the best you can, and hope you make the right choices. You want to make sure you balance out the level of praise you give for good behavior with the punishment you give for the bad. You hope the level of affection you show to each child is equal, so neither ever feels inadequate in any way. You try in every possible way to ensure they feel loved, and you hope you set them up to have better lives than you ever wished you could have. Ultimately, you just hope you don't screw up. Adrienne does that with more grace, ease, and adequacy than I could ever think possible. Watching her makes me constantly self-evaluate my own performance as a parent, and I can't thank her enough for that.
6. I love her for being my best friend. We never seem to run out of things to talk about. We can poke fun at one another when we do or say dumb things. We laugh constantly. We can dance in the kitchen (much to the delight of our girls). We can hang out in bed, on our phones, and not say a word. We can watch recorded episodes of Dateline and pinpoint the killer within the first five minutes. On those rare occasions when we get to spend time together, with no kids, it feels like we are dating all over again. As a picture hanging in our living room reads, "We were together. I forget the rest."
7. I love her for not being my better half. I've always hated that cliche, because she isn't that. She's filled the cracks. She's made my good parts better. She's hidden my imperfections. She's shown me the roadmap to turning my weaknesses into strengths. She's made me whole. She isn't my better half...I'm me, because of her.
8. I love her 'cause it's simple. And it always has been.
